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TV/VOAPUK and CrazyDos S1

Volapuk is a combination practical joke and look-busy program. Start the mock debugger and your memory is seemingly reconfigured, your hard disk is diagnosed, and all errors are cleared from existence--in reality the screen messages are the only things that are changing. If this program were interactive, it would be menu-driven and very professional (it will fool any onlooker). TV simulates the late-night movie "War of the Ants" (thats where the screen ``fuzzes out'' after the national anthem). Then, when you press a key, the loudspeaker is silenced and the random pattern turns into a beautiful person with the message "Dear User, I Love You." In a few seconds the dreamgirl/dreamboy vanishes. The War of the Ants continues. Another keystroke takes you back to DOS.

A wisecrack response for every DOS command, for your own entertainment or a practical joke. Dos is a temporary "replacement" for DOS with some interesting responses to commands. There are some alarming looking "error messages," but don't worry, there are no aliens, molasses, or problems reading drive Q:. All "system crashes" "Chinese keyboards" etc. are imaginary and temporary, and can be ended by a keypress in some cases, or ENTER in others. To exit DOS, you must tell your computer "I love you".